…be supportive, kind, and leave the judgement behind!!!
Here are a few things that I think should be kept to yourself and to those (e.g. spouse, partner, caregiver) who are directly and actively involved in raising your little one (lo). Now I know just by saying some of these things, it will rub some people the wrong way, but the following are issues that are very sensitive and decisions related to them are very tough; so, unless you are actually ASKED directly for advice on these issues/topics, I’d say let’s all just be sweet, compassionate, and keep your opinions to yourself.
1. Birthing style: I don’t care what style you choose (sometimes for medical reasons, we don’t even have a choice), giving birth is an amazing physical feat and every woman who gives birth should be applauded!
2. Breast feeding decisions: If you read my blog about breast feeding…that (insert four-letter word) is HARD for some people! And for others, for whatever reason, it may not be there thing. For some, it is the end all be all and that is fabulous too!
3. To work or not: There is no doubt, a parent is almost always the BEST caregiver, but for some, staying home is just not an option at that point in their life. For others, it was never even a consideration and that is okay too! Not staying home, or staying home does not make you any better or less of a parent.
4. Child care decisions: Everyone has their opinion on the best “type” of school/academy/home to have their child attend when they are in need of a caregiver. Decisions are usually well-thought and made based on MANY different variables. So leave it at that, please!
5. Our looks: OKAY, we have all done it at some point or another but here are some things that need to go away when directed at mothers (especially mothers who have recently given birth and have CRAZY hormones raging through their bodies)- giving the side eye ; “SHE had a baby….she must spend ALL her time at the gym and not with her kid!”; “she must not be trying AT ALL to lose that baby weight!”; “Is that wine!?!?” “She wears THAT when she is with her kids!?.” Actions, statements, and thoughts like these are just hurtful and there is really no need for them. So please don’t put on your judge-y jeans! Thanks!
6. Diet: For the most part, we all want happy, healthy children, which means that we as parents should try to make good decisions with regard to our little ones’ diets. Whatever you decide…GOOD FOR YOU! I am just going to leave that right there!
7. Vaccines: This topic is EXTREMELY controversial! Essentially, you can find research to support whatever your stance may be, which can be dangerous if you are not cognizant about your source. With that said, please educate yourself through a unbiased lens and credible sources and check your opinions at the door.
8. And anything else for that matter!!! If you are not directly asked, opinions and judgement can be awfully hurtful!
Ladies (and everyone else, really) let’s all back off…unless we are genuinely planning on providing a little judgment free support. The truth is “we” (for the purpose of this post we is defined as mothers, however you came to be a mother-or caregiver for that matter) are all doing our best every day to figure out how to make this parenting thing work for EVERYONE! And at the core of all of it…mother/parent aside…we are all fellow individuals trying to redefine what “individual” now means while raising a a little miracle!!